The Kat Life

how I'm choosing to live my best life

Main Categories
Katherine Moon
Katherine Isabella Moon
Meow, hello there, my name is Katherine, but you can call me Kat; because I basically am a cat. Anyways, I am a 26-year-old, lifestyle blogger, with an INFP-T personality type, from the United States. I love fashion, the color pink, cats, dogs, and spending all my time on my computer. I'm often seen wearing cat ears headbands.
The Kat Life
The Kat Life

how I'm choosing to live my best life

Friday, April 5, 2019

11 Things I Did To Try To Be Cool

*** Spoiler Alert: None of these things actually helped me earn the acceptance of the "cool" kids. ***

Photo courtesy of Azamat Zhanisov on Unsplash

Although looking back on it now, I can honestly say I'm kinda grateful I was an outcast in school, that wasn't always the case. Especially when I was in middle school and at the age where it felt like being popular (or at least fitting in) was of utmost importance. I did some pretty stupid and silly things to try to win over the popular kids, or to at least try to make friends and just be accepted. Many of the things I did were just cringe-worthy, and I have no idea why I thought they'd actually earn me the acceptance of the cool kids; since apparently shows on Nickelodeon and Disney Channel aren't reliable sources on how to be cool in real life. Some things I did were just straight up stupid, and not even really worth it. 

I'll be honest though, there are also a few things I did that I actually don't totally regret or cringe at, but I wish I had done them because I wanted to; not to try to impress others. 

1 - Bought clothes I didn't even want that badly. 

Okay, so this may not be the biggest deal in the world, but given the fact that I was either spending my birthday money on them or choosing them during a shopping spree with my parents when they allowed me to pick something out, I honestly wish I had just picked something I actually liked instead of what was considered cool. Especially considering that this was back when (rather overpriced) stores like Abercrombie and Hollister were where all the cool kids shopped. It's not that I hated the clothes, it's just they weren't really my style; but I felt like I had to have at least a few things from those stores, literally because someone else told me that I had to. 

By the way, if you've seen Shane Dawson's conspiracy series, the Hollister thing is SO true, I was only in there once because of how anxiety-inducing my experience there was. 

2 - Put clothes I loved in the back of my closet because someone else didn't like them. 

I don't even know how many times I was excited to wear a new outfit I had gotten over the weekend to school that I felt super cute and princessy in, only to have someone say something nasty to me about it. I think the most common thing I heard was that it looked like something an "old lady" or a "grandma" would wear. Which I guess was a bad thing, and it's certainly not something I wanted to hear when I was 14 and wanted to look "cool".  There were also several times where I'd be told I looked like a 5-year-old as well, or some other remark. Needless to say though, hearing stuff like that often killed my confidence, and I often wouldn't wear the outfit I once loved to school again.

3 - Refused to wear my glasses?

Okay, I'll be honest, I still do take them off for photos a lot of the time, and I'm not entirely sure why; especially as glasses are considered cool and fashionable now. But I used to refuse (and I mean REFUSE) to wear them in public entirely, even though I knew I pretty much couldn't see shit without them. This came down to the whole idea that you were a "dork" if you wore glasses, and that people would call you "four eyes".  But the thing is, everyone already knew I wore glasses, and that's wasn't even one of the primary things I was being teased about, so there was no point in voluntarily making myself blind at school; actually causing further embarrassment when I couldn't see the board and got yelled at by the teacher for not wearing my glasses.

*major facepalm*

4 - Spent ridiculous amounts of time trying to make myself "look better" for others. 

Okay, so I don't definitely regret getting into beauty or doing my hair and makeup, but I do realize now that I should have been doing it because I enjoyed it; not because I thought that if I looked a certain way it would somehow make me a little cooler. And because I was doing it for the wrong reasons back then, it wasn't even all that fun and was even stressful at times, because it felt like something I absolutely had to do, not just something that I wanted to do; and then for it to still not be enough for the people I went to school with anyways.

5 - Took on mainstream interests, just because they were "cool".

I don't totally regret this either. I actually really liked most of the "Top 40" songs in the 2000s, and I even some of it now (keyword some of it, a lot of it now is just, yikes). But there were just some things that I really didn't care that much for, or even understand why it was so popular. Seriously, I didn't understand the point of most the "reality" shows on MTV (I'm sorry, I thought this channel was for music videos?); and even though I've always loved the internet, I didn't even care that much about MySpace. I was honestly still more into the online dress-up games when MySpace was still a thing. Mostly because not only were they more fun, but also because I didn't want my parents to catch me on MySpace. Parents were much stricter on that kind of stuff in the 2000s.

Why does the fact that I had a MySpace make me feel so old now though?

6 - Hid or rejected my own interests because they were "nerdy" or "uncool". 

Although it seems that it has actually become cool to like "nerdy" things now (at least from I see on the internet), it wasn't really that way in the 2000s; or at least not in my school anyways, unfortunately. So I often felt that I had to hide any interest that I had in "nerdy" things, or even tell myself I didn't like them. Then I wouldn't even allow myself to consider the fact that I might potentially enjoy something that others may see as geeky or nerdy. But seriously though, if you enjoy something, and it doesn't hurt anyone, who the hell cares what anyone else thinks about it?

I also often felt the same about things that may be perceived as "boyish" or "manly", but that's another thing entirely. I'm seriously glad that shit is starting to change. I really am.

7 - Dumbed myself down.

Okay, for real, don't EVER fucking dumb yourself down for ANYONE, ever! This is honestly the stupidest thing I did, and the one thing I truly wish I could go back and change. I don't even quite know what my thinking was exactly, but for whatever stupid ass reason, I thought that simply being smart was nerdy. Okay, so maybe it is to some, but being "nerdy" isn't bad; I actually embrace it now. I even let my grades suffer to prove I wasn't a "nerd". Yeah, I really don't know what the fuck I was thinking. I could have been at least on the second honor roll (all As and Bs in my school), but instead, I was getting lectured by my parents every time report cards went home because I was failing or almost failing many of my classes. And for what? It didn't make me cool, AT ALL

Luckily I snapped out of that shit by 8th grade, and before high school when it really starts to matter. But for real, NEVER DUMB YOURSELF DOWN FOR ANYONE. If you have to dumb yourself down just someone to be your friend, and or especially to be your partner; is that person really someone that you want in your life? Seriously, take pride in your intelligence!

8 - Did a lot of what the "cool" kids wanted me to do.

Although I never did anything too serious, and the things they were getting me to do seemed mostly harmless; I definitely realize now what was really going on.  I actually did then too, but I didn't want to admit it, because the idea that these people wanted to be my friends just seemed so amazing when I didn't exactly have many friends, to begin with. Like, OMG the cool kids want to hang out with me?! But the reality of it was, those people never actually wanted to be my friends; they just wanted to either take advantage of me, make fun of me even more, or both.

Seriously though, real friends would never ask you to do something you don't really want to do, or that they know you'd be uncomfortable with; unless it's something they truly believe can help you grow as a person. But even then, they wouldn't try to force you to do it and make the "I'll stop being your friend if you don't" threat. I don't even know how many times I have heard that one. 

9 - Blew off the "uncool" things I was actually supposed to do. 

This kind of comes back to #7, because one of the main reasons I was failing a lot of my classes was because I was completely blowing off my homework; since doing homework was so uncool. Okay, granted I have never liked doing homework, I don't think anyone actually enjoys homework, LMAO; but the point is, I was blowing off a lot of the things that I was actually supposed to be doing. Even when I'd actually be rewarded for doing them, either with money or some other physical award; or just not getting yelled at.

I also luckily snapped out of this one along with not dumbing myself down anymore by 8th grade and found that life was so much easier when I just got my work done; or most of it anyway.

10 - Pretended to have crushes on the "popular" guys... (Girl, why?!)

Yeah, it's as weird as it sounds. Honestly, this one wasn't something I did so much to be cool, as it was something I did to just... shut people up? I knew for a fact that the popular guys weren't going to have any interest in me, and would even laugh about the idea that I had a crush on them; when in reality I maybe thought they were good-looking at best. So when the "feelings" weren't returned it didn't matter to me, and I wouldn't actually be upset or hurt by it.

So why the heck would I say I had a crush on someone that I felt pretty much nothing for? The thing was, by the time 6th grade came around, it seemed that suddenly, it was important to start "liking-liking" someone of the opposite sex. Things were still quite different in the 2000s than they are now,  especially in small towns like mine; and we still have a long way to go. But anyway, because it seemed like it was so important to have a crush, for whatever reason, I just felt like I had to name someone.

This definitely isn't to say that I didn't have crushes, because I definitely did, but it was very rare for me to develop a crush; and oftentimes when I did develop an actual crush, the feelings were intense. So I would keep it completely to myself to protect my own feelings. I also didn't quite understand why I didn't develop crushes or attractions easily, as I didn't even know that demisexuality and asexuality are actually a thing. So I didn't understand what my demisexuality was at the time. 

11 - Tried to act like something that I absolutely wasn't, and lived for the approval of others.

So this basically ties pretty much everything on this list together. Whether it was changing my fashion choices, my taste in music, TV shows, books, or my hobbies; or it was acting like something that I wasn't in general, I found that through most of my early teen years, I was just living for the approval of others. People who didn't accept me for who I really was, and still didn't accept me when I tried to change who I was. 

It took me a while to fully accept that I'm not like everyone else in my hometown, but (perhaps because of the internet), I realized that being different isn't a bad thing. As a matter of fact, some of the most successful people in life were considered "different" in school, and weren't very popular either! I'm also finding that it's actually becoming more and more common for people to fully embrace their own differences, and it seems that the definition of what is considered "cool" is changing, and is much more subjective than it was in 2006. And even if you may feel like an outcast in your school, it's often easy to find a community online if you look in the right places.

I'll be honest, I am embarrassed by a lot of this, and I often cringe at some of the things I did in my younger days; the mere fact that I even cared about being "cool" makes me cringe. But don't we all have those things from our pre-teen and teen years that make us cringe now? Hell, sometimes I cringe at some of the things I did a year or two ago. Life is a learning experience though, so I like to take these sorts of things as lessons; rather than just beating myself up over them, and be grateful for the lesson that came from it. 

What are some of the silliest, most embarrassing, or outright dumbest things you've done for acceptance? Was it to try to fit in with a certain group, try to be friends with a specific person, or for a crush; maybe even a family member? I'd love to hear your stories!
Thank you for reading, and I hope the rest of your day is wonderful!
If you liked this post, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help this blog grow and hit the follow button! :)


  1. This is real! I've never done most of them but I have tried to 'hide' myself just so I could fit in, which in the end was all for naught.
    Like you said, I now cringe when I remember what I did or did do just so I would seem cool. Unfortunately, I still do it.
    Thanks for writing this post, it was really relatable!
    Loren |

    1. I honestly still have a few of those moments now as an adult too. I do my best not too, but sometimes old habits can come back up; or sometimes it just seems appropriate for the situation. Especially when it's people you can't avoid like coworkers or even family in some cases (I'm the different one in my family, although it's not nearly as hostile of an environment as it was in school). Or even when it's just someone you want to be friends with.

      I'm glad you found this post relatable. I was actually debating whether or not I should actually post it, perhaps because of old habits. But I know how common this kind of thing actually is, and that it still happens. Thank you for taking the time to read this post and share your thoughts!

  2. Haha! I think we're all guilty of doing some things to try and be "cool" and fit in. Thankfully I had a really good group of friends in school - we weren't the "cool kids" by any means but we were cool in our own way haha!


    1. Yeah I think that's very true! I think pretty much everyone's done something to try to be cool or fit in. That's great you had a good group of friends in school! I think everyone is cool in their own way honestly! :)


Newer Post Older Post
Keep Up With The Kat Life Subscribe to my news feed to get posts delivered directly to your inbox!